hye sexy our anniversry s coming up i have a few new thign i waned to try wti youuuuuuuuuu twxt me abkc

Text: I’m blocking your number until you’re sober you sick freak.

ans i did it under a fake name i use s the cname of the cut stand in from the filming ouf or doctrumenrrr u rememember the one whos face got meletd off yeh him

Text: Nice try, buddy. I’m calling your plastic surgeon. And also a shrink because you are in serious denial. 

oaky so in light of my lack of romanc lately i made one of those... grindy? gindr? ginger? id on't know varal i am so durnk righ tnow so i need your hlep do i like bllonds or burntees beter i dont like he red ahir though it reminds me of taraaa yoru exgirlifrined and we all kow she was a firechroth

Text: Ada I’m patrolling the guard tonight… I don’t really have time to discuss your romantic interests.

Text: Oh and if you’re referring to Laura, she was so not my girlfriend.

Text: …don’t limit yourself to just one hair color. 

HO ANd i shold tlell you that i mad eht grinner app omly so i coulf lirt with guys beause my hUSBAND ISMISSINGGGGGGGG

Text: Oh Valar…

Dat ass! Oh wait….that’s me. 

Dat ass! Oh wait….that’s me. 

And I for one think it's fortunate for you that they didn't include images from that leaked video of you "twerking". That was a disgrace to the Eldar.

Jealous of my moves, daddy dearest?

They probably got it from our documentary. -silently hiding the fact that he's jealous there isn't one of him-

Legolas’s butt for Cyra

Excuse me, mortal, hands off. ‘Tis my buttocks and I’ll shake where I want to, with whom I want to.

A List of Things Legolas is Aroused By.

The rugged manliness that is Aragorn.

Sassing off to Aragorn.

Orc Hunting.

Orc Killing.

When they toss the dwarf.

Sad songs for Gandalf.

Duck face.

Fabulous hair days.

Aragorn’s even more rugged manliness. 

Fighting side by side with a friend.

Lembas bread.

The back of Aragorn’s head.

Elrond’s sweet pad.

When Gimli needs a box.

Being fabulous all day, everyday.