Anonymous asked:
My anaconda don't exist but it still wants some.

Hiss, hiss nonny. Darling, snake skin is so last age anyways! 

It's not only the broodiness, Legolas. It's also the fact that you never change. You wear the same outfit almost every day. It's not becoming of you. Also, how's Leaf Blower? Haven't heard from him in a while.

I am the -captain- of the guard of course I wear the same outfit everyday! Do you think my men would listen to me if I pranced about in naught but my skivenskiwanglers?! 

Looking at your new photograph. It wasn't a landslide, but congratulations on winning. But I will be scheduling you some modeling classes. You've started wearing the same look in every shot... again.

Prince Best & Prettiest

Ada, I am touched by this humble gesture. ‘Tis a great feat to admit defeat and I would happily give you a few pointers on modeling- I DO NOT LOOK THE SAME IN EVERY SHOT.

You’re just mad because you have to admit the populace thinks I’m more fabulous than you.


thranduil-of-mirkwood:

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Same broody face, every single shot. That’s, what, four films of you just looking angry at nothing? Even Haldir changes his facial expression. You should smile for once. You won’t get wrinkles - you inherited my skin elasticity.

Broody BROODY?! A year in a tent with stinking mortals and halflings with hairy feet and you’re on me for not smiling?! I FOUGHT A WAR, VALAR DAMN IT ALL. A WAR.

WE DO NOT SMILE IN WAR.

Looking at your new photograph. It wasn't a landslide, but congratulations on winning. But I will be scheduling you some modeling classes. You've started wearing the same look in every shot... again.

Ada, I am touched by this humble gesture. ‘Tis a great feat to admit defeat and I would happily give you a few pointers on modeling- I DO NOT LOOK THE SAME IN EVERY SHOT.

You’re just mad because you have to admit the populace thinks I’m more fabulous than you.

My Name is Legolas Thranduilion, Prince of Mirkwood, Best and Prettiest and I Join The Conversation

Gender equality is not about immortal or mortal. It is not about gay, straight or bisexual. It is not about gender identification. Long hair and a love for shoes does not equal girly. Athleticism and strength does not equal masculinity. A manly man can be sensitive. A girly girl can be strong.

Let’s break down barriers.

If only one half of Middle Earth is involved, only one half of Middle Earth has a voice- I stand for my mother, my friends, my partners and relatives. This is a feminism friendly blog. #middleearthiansforfeminism

thranduil-of-mirkwood:

Horrible day. Elrond went missing again. I got into a screaming match and had to fire a staff member because he spoke ill of Madonna - mind you I was in the middle of doing my hair. All the clothing I’ve decided I wanted to purchase on-line is too inexpensive. Heard that Galadriel’s acne is healing. Had to sit in court for another eight ass-numbing hours. It’s just been a difficult day for me. 

Perhaps I should put on some clothing and find my son/best bitch/drinking companion. 

Excellent day! Ran into Elrond reading in his favorite quiet spot in the wine cellars on my way out to the Guard and discussed a very interesting essay on armor plating over a freshly opened Dorwinion. Galion brought me the pair of shoes I ordered and you’ll never guess- my soldiers received a false order that they were to listen to Madonna all day today. Threw a wild dance party on the edge of the forest! Drank more wine. Galadriel called me to tell me she’s shipping me new hunting boots on the account of the wonderful face cream I lent her.

Plus, court is endlessly more fascinating intoxicated. Who knew!

Ah, look! *beaming* Here comes Ada now… and he has more wine.

Anonymous asked:
How do you not run out of arrows while hunting orcs? Do elves secrete them out of their backs?

I am a prince, I do not produce secretions. I am merely responsible with my ammunition. 

thranduil-of-mirkwood:

armitageuniverse:

Lee Pace / Thranduil • BTS + Scene

Nice marshmallow you’re wearing, ionneg.

Listen, I know whats fashionable in the realms of men, okay? Northface is all the rage. You just don’t understand men’s fashion.